Most relationships start out pretty hot and heavy. You want to be together 24/7, the sex is great, and the romance is at an all-time high. Hey, it’s not called the honeymoon period for nothing! However, the longer you’re together, the more comfortable you get with your partner. You realize you can’t retreat from your responsibilities forever, so you shift your focus to keep the rest of your life from falling apart. Adulting can zap most of your time and energy, but that doesn’t mean your relationship should suffer for it. That’s where TikTok’s viral “petite romance” concept comes in handy.
What is the “petite romance” trend on TikTok all about?
@notwildlin Replying to @thesincerelyasiaa sometimes Petite Romance autocorrects to a proper noun and thats a sign
In essence, “petite romance” is all about the small things in life (and love). Taken from the French word for “little,” TikToker Wildlin Pierrevil says the “petite romance” concept is doing small things to make your partner’s life happier, less stressful, and better overall.
While grand gestures can be incredibly romantic and are often praised in popular culture, they’re not actually the things that matter most. Instead, “petite romance” advises us to hone in on gestures that don’t take a lot of time, energy, or money, but that pack a big punch in terms of being meaningful. As a result, you send the message to your partner that says, as Pierrevil puts it, “You ride shotgun in my mind.” Now that’s sweet!
The idea is that by doing small things like this regularly, you continue to show your partner you care about them and they never end up feeling neglected or taken for granted. It helps to keep the romance alive and your bond strong no matter how long you’ve been together. And not only is it good for your partner, but it’s more sustainable for you, too. “The key is that there is no crash. There is no burnout … I can give my partner a consistent stream of affection and intimacy without feeling like I have to take breaks in between,” Pierrevil explained.
Frankly, it’s an idea we can get behind.
Can this really make a difference to your relationship?
You bet. While the term “petite romance” may just be going viral on TikTok, the concept isn’t new at all and has been proven to have a massive impact on relationship health and happiness.
It really is easier than you think, and putting in the effort for a bit of “petite romance” with the person you’re dating will pay dividends for your relationship. For instance, a 2013 Open University survey of more than 5,000 people found that people appreciate small gestures that illustrate thoughtfulness and care more than standard romantic acts like giving chocolate or flowers. A 2016 study confirmed those findings, with participants admitting that compliments and little expressions of kindness and appreciation were what made them feel the most loved.
Finally, a 2020 study found that in addition to having a solid effect on our relationships, small gestures work wonders for our personal well-being as well. “Petite romance” has been linked to heightened optimism, a sense of purpose, and better mental health.
How to put “petite romance” into practice in your own relationship
- Grab them their favorite food. You know they love the croissants from that bakery around the corner. So, in the name of “petite romance,” you pop in and buy a couple to bring home for them to have when they wake up. You even throw in an iced coffee just how they like it (because of course you have their order memorized).
- Make them dinner after a stressful day. You share cooking duties in general, but even though it’s their night, you take over kitchen duty because you know they’re exhausted and overworked. No need for them to “make it up to you” by taking an extra night themself, either. It’s just what you do.
- Run them a bath so they can relax before bed. They rarely indulge in self-care, but you’ve been trying to convince them to do so. Before you start winding down for the evening, let them know you’ve run them a nice bubble bath and even set up the laptop on the toilet so they can watch “Succession” while they soak. Now that’s “petite romance.”
- Take care of a chore you know they hate. They’ve been meaning to get their favorite jacket drycleaned after spilling ketchup on it but they always feel awkward going into the shop so they’ve been putting it off. They don’t need to worry – it takes five minutes and you’re happy to do it.
- Put gas in the car before they go on a long drive. You know they have to commute a bit further for a work meeting tomorrow, so you go out and gas the car up the night before so they don’t need to stop in the morning. That’s one less thing to stress about and means they won’t need to rush.
- Write a little love note to put in with their lunch. Something as simple as “I hope this makes you smile” can do just that. Pop it in with their bag and wait for their adoring text to come in when they find it. It takes five seconds but makes a world of difference.
- Make them a playlist of songs you think they’ll like. You know their taste. You probably even share some of it. So, put together a Spotify playlist of some tunes you think they’ll like. Then, you can share the URL and they can listen to it while they’re working. It’s one of the most thoughtful things you can do.
- Mark down the day a show they like is coming back with a new season. You know they could just Google it, but they don’t need to. You saw an article and remembered they love this show, so you wrote it down. They’ll be ready for it now and won’t miss the premiere. You could even set the DVR for them or add the show to your list on a streaming platform. This is “petite romance” at its finest. TV is a good way to unwind. Even if you don’t like the show, the fact that they do is enough. Showing them you care about what they care about is adorable. This will strengthen your relationship immeasurably.